* just a side note for anyone following the Acai berry thing, it doesn't stop sickness. It may have helped but i now have a cold or something. Of course, I have to go get my Christmas tree tomorrow and decorate my house with 100's of lights. But I am going to continue to take the Acai berry stuff till it's gone.
Stayed tuned!
I HATE BEING SICK!!!!! TAB HATES IT WHEN I'M SICK TOO!!! SHE DOESSN'T LIKE TAKING CARE OF ME, POOR BABY.
WANDA SYKES IS GAY!!!! YEA!!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Twiligt??
What in the hell is the deal with this twilight? My friend Carly was talking about it, and i just thought maybe it was some kind of "college" thing. But then my 50 year old Aunt asked me if i wanted to borrow her book and how good it was and ect.....
1st of all, i haven't heard anything about this, i know nothing of the world i don't guess.
(i do know Wanda Sykes is out and i love it! She's one of my Fav. comedians)
2cnd of all I don't read. The last books i read were Harry Potter. I got so obsessed with Harry Potter I actually have the whole 1st set of Lego's. I'm talkin the $75 castle and all. Built them, and had them on display at the apartment.
Before that i was interested in the Box Car children series in like 3rd grade.
My neighbor gets on me all the time for not reading because i don't "expand" my mind.
Yeah, whatever.
Instead of reading i have played out every scenario of my life if i made this decision or if i killed this person, or I don't know just off the wall shit. If i could write down the stories i tell myself i would no doubt in my mind be a famous author.
But i can't remember what i play out to write it down.
Ne way,
I don't read. But i am kind of interested in the new "craze" but it'll die out soon. It always does. But by the time it dies out i'm sure i will be even more interested then.
1st of all, i haven't heard anything about this, i know nothing of the world i don't guess.
(i do know Wanda Sykes is out and i love it! She's one of my Fav. comedians)
2cnd of all I don't read. The last books i read were Harry Potter. I got so obsessed with Harry Potter I actually have the whole 1st set of Lego's. I'm talkin the $75 castle and all. Built them, and had them on display at the apartment.
Before that i was interested in the Box Car children series in like 3rd grade.
My neighbor gets on me all the time for not reading because i don't "expand" my mind.
Yeah, whatever.
Instead of reading i have played out every scenario of my life if i made this decision or if i killed this person, or I don't know just off the wall shit. If i could write down the stories i tell myself i would no doubt in my mind be a famous author.
But i can't remember what i play out to write it down.
Ne way,
I don't read. But i am kind of interested in the new "craze" but it'll die out soon. It always does. But by the time it dies out i'm sure i will be even more interested then.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Is honesty always best?
Welcome to another corporate forced break! i am blogging to myself to figure out something.
When i was younger i was never told the truth. I didn't know why my parents got a divorce, I didn't know when my great grandparents were going to die. I didn't know why my Aunt Susan died. I didn't know my Aunt had an abortion (still maybe not true). I didn't know my mom had an abortion (she was dieing). I would have a brother, around 29 or 30 i believe. All i knew was the "nice truth" i could call it. Great grandma's sick, Aunt Susan was in an accident, me and dad just don't get along, nothing about the brother.
When i found stuff out as i got older i was pissed. Why didn't i know when my great grandparents were dying. Why didn't someone tell me! Why did no one tell me that my Aunt was SHOT in a gang, drug related deal? My Mom almost died!
I blamed my mother for the divorce for the longest until by mistake one of my dad's 18 year old girlfriends ran up to him at walmart and was kissing on him and then a 9 year old steps out of the truck! Then mom had to tell me the truth and i felt awful because i blamed her!
Why wasn't i told the truth?
But on the flip side, now I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! I don't want to know that my family is breaking DOWN. That every one of my Aunts have cried (they don't cry) my Uncle everyone is going nuts! I don't want to know that my grandpa, the man that when you were with him everything stopped, time stood still, and the only thing that mattered is what you and him were doing at that particular moment is going to die. I don't want to hear "your grandpa had an episode last night" "hospice is coming in" i don't want to know. But i do want to know. I don't know what i want to know! I haven't really lost anyone besides my dog that i was attached to so much.
SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO KNOW ANYMORE!
I think it would be easier to know grandpa is sick, he isn't feeling good. He will be sleeping through most of thanksgiving but he still wants everyone over to be with him when he's awake.
Instead of.........This is your grandpa's last holiday. He isn't going to make it to Christmas, even though his eyes are closed hearing is the last thing that you lose when you die. He wants us there so he can hear us. He probably won't talk or be able to open his eyes but he can hear us.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
But i don't want to be blind sided! So there it is blog, my online journal. I wish i could be like Tab, she doesn't have this type of emotion. I didn't know her grandpa was dieing, but she new all of the stuff that i know now and it didn't bother her. She didn't tell me. I don't know how to not worry about stuff like her. When i try to talk about it i feel bad because i am making her listen to something that she doesn't show emotion about so i feel that i am bothering her.
NEWAY
Breaks over, i feel kind of relived, but still confused. I will spend thanksgiving with my grandpa and talk to him all day. It's about him. It doesn't' matter how i feel, i will be there to support him and my family.
When i was younger i was never told the truth. I didn't know why my parents got a divorce, I didn't know when my great grandparents were going to die. I didn't know why my Aunt Susan died. I didn't know my Aunt had an abortion (still maybe not true). I didn't know my mom had an abortion (she was dieing). I would have a brother, around 29 or 30 i believe. All i knew was the "nice truth" i could call it. Great grandma's sick, Aunt Susan was in an accident, me and dad just don't get along, nothing about the brother.
When i found stuff out as i got older i was pissed. Why didn't i know when my great grandparents were dying. Why didn't someone tell me! Why did no one tell me that my Aunt was SHOT in a gang, drug related deal? My Mom almost died!
I blamed my mother for the divorce for the longest until by mistake one of my dad's 18 year old girlfriends ran up to him at walmart and was kissing on him and then a 9 year old steps out of the truck! Then mom had to tell me the truth and i felt awful because i blamed her!
Why wasn't i told the truth?
But on the flip side, now I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! I don't want to know that my family is breaking DOWN. That every one of my Aunts have cried (they don't cry) my Uncle everyone is going nuts! I don't want to know that my grandpa, the man that when you were with him everything stopped, time stood still, and the only thing that mattered is what you and him were doing at that particular moment is going to die. I don't want to hear "your grandpa had an episode last night" "hospice is coming in" i don't want to know. But i do want to know. I don't know what i want to know! I haven't really lost anyone besides my dog that i was attached to so much.
SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO KNOW ANYMORE!
I think it would be easier to know grandpa is sick, he isn't feeling good. He will be sleeping through most of thanksgiving but he still wants everyone over to be with him when he's awake.
Instead of.........This is your grandpa's last holiday. He isn't going to make it to Christmas, even though his eyes are closed hearing is the last thing that you lose when you die. He wants us there so he can hear us. He probably won't talk or be able to open his eyes but he can hear us.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
But i don't want to be blind sided! So there it is blog, my online journal. I wish i could be like Tab, she doesn't have this type of emotion. I didn't know her grandpa was dieing, but she new all of the stuff that i know now and it didn't bother her. She didn't tell me. I don't know how to not worry about stuff like her. When i try to talk about it i feel bad because i am making her listen to something that she doesn't show emotion about so i feel that i am bothering her.
NEWAY
Breaks over, i feel kind of relived, but still confused. I will spend thanksgiving with my grandpa and talk to him all day. It's about him. It doesn't' matter how i feel, i will be there to support him and my family.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
MY NEW MOTTO ON LIFE!
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, whiskey in hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO what a ride!"
(the word whiskey was originally chocolate, but i really don't eat very much chocolate, never have even as a child, and whiskey fits me WAY better!)
(the word whiskey was originally chocolate, but i really don't eat very much chocolate, never have even as a child, and whiskey fits me WAY better!)
Day 17
I still haven't lost any weight. Really thinkin i should have spent my $30 bucks on the hat i saw in Spencer's that i wanted other then Acea berry nasty stuff! Oh well. I still feel great! I still haven't got sick, which is FANTASTIC! But for the way this crap taste it would have been nice to lose at least 5 pounds. I don't eat as much, but i still don't exercise. I just can't do it. I decide that i don't have time then sit on my fat ass and watch whatever comes on, or catch up to the shows i have on the DVR before i get an ear full that i am "hogging" up DVR space.
GOD FORBID MRS. THINGS SOAP DOESN'T RECORD! (one day tab pissed me off so i had a girl shut off the DVR right before the soap came on and she called and apologized.)
NEWAY OFF THE SUBJECT.........
I still have almost a whole bottle left so i am going to continue taking it till it's gone and see my finale decision.
GOD FORBID MRS. THINGS SOAP DOESN'T RECORD! (one day tab pissed me off so i had a girl shut off the DVR right before the soap came on and she called and apologized.)
NEWAY OFF THE SUBJECT.........
I still have almost a whole bottle left so i am going to continue taking it till it's gone and see my finale decision.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Acea Diet still going strong
Just for the record i just wanted to update just in the small case that someone may find this interesting to know before they purchase this stuff.
I really haven't lost any weight. I haven't measured myself in awhile but i don't think that has changed either.
Positive side:
I no longer feel the need to have my energy drink every morning. I feel like i do have more gumption to do things so that's a plus.
I am not as hungry as i use to be. During supper i never get seconds anymore.
I feel good, I feel great!
HUGE THING.................
I have not gotten sick! Everyone and there freakin brother is sick at work. Just passin it on and i have not got it! (knock on wood!)
I get EVERYTHING! Because of my C.O.P.D., i am susceptible to any sort of cold bug and flu bug and it attaches straight to my lungs and the coughing starts.
Me and Tab are both doing this. We have now started doing 2 shots of the Acea berry juice. So hopefully that will make us lose weight.
On a side note we're not exercising. It looks as though i am going to have to get off my lazy rear and run on the treadmill and lift weights. I made a gym in my house with TV, and EVERYTHING and i never use it.
More if i lose the weight.
BTW it is DAY 13
I really haven't lost any weight. I haven't measured myself in awhile but i don't think that has changed either.
Positive side:
I no longer feel the need to have my energy drink every morning. I feel like i do have more gumption to do things so that's a plus.
I am not as hungry as i use to be. During supper i never get seconds anymore.
I feel good, I feel great!
HUGE THING.................
I have not gotten sick! Everyone and there freakin brother is sick at work. Just passin it on and i have not got it! (knock on wood!)
I get EVERYTHING! Because of my C.O.P.D., i am susceptible to any sort of cold bug and flu bug and it attaches straight to my lungs and the coughing starts.
Me and Tab are both doing this. We have now started doing 2 shots of the Acea berry juice. So hopefully that will make us lose weight.
On a side note we're not exercising. It looks as though i am going to have to get off my lazy rear and run on the treadmill and lift weights. I made a gym in my house with TV, and EVERYTHING and i never use it.
More if i lose the weight.
BTW it is DAY 13
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
FIRE!
I built a fire! In the fireplace! And i am autually in another room! WOW! Usually i freak out! Scared i will burn the house down, but I'm cool. It's all like rainy and cold and thought it would be great to build a fire. And so I did, and I am proud. Now lets see if i burn down the house.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Day 4 of my diet
Well it's only day 4. Feels like it's been forever. Ugh weighed this morning and gained 1.4 lbs but i have an excuse! My grandpa is in really bad shape again, and so i splurged on my favorite MEXICAN FOOD and stuffed my face full of NACHOS. LOVE NACHOS. So no more of that.
That is all, no more Mexican food.
You know it's funny how everything i cherish has to go away when i diet. My food, my whiskey, i mean what's next???? SEX!? Which is few and far between enough as it is!
Well I'll see what happens in a few days.
* Chest has been bothering me.
Need to keep up with this crap somehow.
HAVE A GOOD ONE!
That is all, no more Mexican food.
You know it's funny how everything i cherish has to go away when i diet. My food, my whiskey, i mean what's next???? SEX!? Which is few and far between enough as it is!
Well I'll see what happens in a few days.
* Chest has been bothering me.
Need to keep up with this crap somehow.
HAVE A GOOD ONE!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Day 1 of the nasty stuff
It's not really day one but lets pretend.
11/8/08
I weigh around 252 pounds.
And i wear a size 22 Jeans.
Note:: I have weighed around 250 ever since i quit drugs so i have actually maintained this weight rather well.
*** not really exercising quit yet but will start soon. Felling normal not GREAT. Not sick.
NO MORE WHISKEY DURING THE WEEK NIGHTS!!!!!!!!! OR ANY DRINKAGE AS FAR AS THAT GOES!!!!!
unless i have a HORRIBLE day. :)
11/8/08
I weigh around 252 pounds.
And i wear a size 22 Jeans.
Note:: I have weighed around 250 ever since i quit drugs so i have actually maintained this weight rather well.
*** not really exercising quit yet but will start soon. Felling normal not GREAT. Not sick.
NO MORE WHISKEY DURING THE WEEK NIGHTS!!!!!!!!! OR ANY DRINKAGE AS FAR AS THAT GOES!!!!!
unless i have a HORRIBLE day. :)
Another Diet
This weekend i have started the aecia berry diet cleanse thing. I don't even know if i spelled that right. NE WAY I am not big on "fab" diets and ex specially on diet pills. All they do is speed you up. (after you've done lots of Meth, pills will just initially piss you off cause they don't last long enough and you just want Meth)
But this diet looks pretty safe. The berry is from the Brazilian Rain Forest, it helps your immune system, your heart, and your hunger and energy, (not to be confused with speed.) Basically make you feel better so in turn you do more, and lose weight. You also pair this with a cleanse type pill loaded with fiber and such, which has no bad effects like Alli, but stay tuned on the one. And a multi vitamin, i wasn't going to purchase but the guy talked Tab into buying it because she's so gullible, so i am taking it with her for now. So it's pretty natural i would think. But OMG the taste of the cupfuls of the berry concoction you have to take in the morning is the nastiest, drink i have EVER had! IT'S NOT FOR WEAK STOMACHS! But i am handling it quite well. I use the hold your nose technique followed by a glass of milk to make the aftertaste go away, followed by a lot of groaning, and dancing and jumping. But after that it's okay.. Tyler likes to watch me take it so he can laugh at me. Little shit! But i have to say the COOLEST thing happening is my pee, yes pee, is the brightest of yellow! I'm talkin NEON! I could pee stripes on a runway for planes to land. Apparently it's because i am not drinking enough water. I had plenty of whiskey Sat. night but not enough water. So i am working on that. But i thought it would be cool to kinda post whats going on, if i actually lose weight, gain weight or what not.
I am not really ashamed of my weight, i have always been big unless i was doing drugs so to me being big is being clean. But i need to get healthier. I need to take care of me and be able to live a healthy life. And i want to dance like i use to. So we will see what happens.
But this diet looks pretty safe. The berry is from the Brazilian Rain Forest, it helps your immune system, your heart, and your hunger and energy, (not to be confused with speed.) Basically make you feel better so in turn you do more, and lose weight. You also pair this with a cleanse type pill loaded with fiber and such, which has no bad effects like Alli, but stay tuned on the one. And a multi vitamin, i wasn't going to purchase but the guy talked Tab into buying it because she's so gullible, so i am taking it with her for now. So it's pretty natural i would think. But OMG the taste of the cupfuls of the berry concoction you have to take in the morning is the nastiest, drink i have EVER had! IT'S NOT FOR WEAK STOMACHS! But i am handling it quite well. I use the hold your nose technique followed by a glass of milk to make the aftertaste go away, followed by a lot of groaning, and dancing and jumping. But after that it's okay.. Tyler likes to watch me take it so he can laugh at me. Little shit! But i have to say the COOLEST thing happening is my pee, yes pee, is the brightest of yellow! I'm talkin NEON! I could pee stripes on a runway for planes to land. Apparently it's because i am not drinking enough water. I had plenty of whiskey Sat. night but not enough water. So i am working on that. But i thought it would be cool to kinda post whats going on, if i actually lose weight, gain weight or what not.
I am not really ashamed of my weight, i have always been big unless i was doing drugs so to me being big is being clean. But i need to get healthier. I need to take care of me and be able to live a healthy life. And i want to dance like i use to. So we will see what happens.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Now lets see what happens
Well Obama is President. HUH. That was one step, lets see if that is a good step for the LGTB community or not. I don't understand how African Americans, whom most voted for OBAMA could be "raciest" against gays? Makes no sense. With all the gay right laws that I have heard of not being passed. I find it liberating for African Americans to feel so overwhelmed with the new president. But i wonder if now African Americans realize that they have NO EXCUSE! NO MORE BECAUSE I AM BLACK I CAN'T HAVE THIS!!!! You can do anything you want, except get married if your same sex! I really don't need the label "married" seeing how to me that word in a word association game symbolizes divorce. I don't know of really anyone except my grandparents that haven't had a divorce. Hell i almost got married and probably divorced within a month. But I just want my belongings to go to the one person that i have been with for 8 FREAKIN long years. If we get a divorce, I want to have to give her half, even though i would probably give all because I would make damn sure she was taken care of along with my "step" son. Well that is all i have to say except that i REALLY REALLY hope that Nostradomis was wrong! If you have no idea what i am talking about look it up. It's kinda scary. I don't want to die in 2012.
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