Only Me

Well, it's new years eve. I WANT TO GET SO TORE UP!!! I went to my first weight watchers meeting last night. A lot of older people there except for one girl. Interesting thing that happened....I lost my wallet. Not a man wallet an overstuffed checkbook with my life in it. Now lost or stolen i am undecided. I have decided that i had to have left it on the table with all the "newbies". I went with my neighbor and she's been going for awhile so we left out the side door. And when i realized it was gone, I flew back across town doing about 80. With no license probably not smart was not thinking. Not there. Went back after everyone had left still not there so it's gone but my money is now secure. Doesn't seem that any is missing. And my credit cards are locked so it's cool just going to be a hassle. My problem now is i have to find my social security card and i PRAY that IT wasn't in my wallet. NEWay, I have no idea why this had to happen to me. Everything happens for a reason. But i can't figure this one out.
?????????????????????????????????????????

Well maybe now i will be the brand new owner of a condo in Mexico, a couple cars, maybe another house, who knows!

It's almost here/ NEW DIET

New Year is almost here. I have been shoving every single bit of food in my mouth i love before the new year. I am starting WEIGHT WATCHERS this new year. Well technically going tonight. I always thought weight watchers was for like old people but hopefully not. I don't look at myself as old even though my life is like old. But it happens, mine just happened a little sooner. But I will lose weight! I am going to Florida in June and i don't want the coast guard called in to get the beached whale off the beach. So.......with that said HERE WE GO!

I spelled weight correctly. I did not spell weird correctly in a previous post. What happened to I before E except after C???

New Years Eve

I wish that on New Year's Eve everything was wiped clean and you didn't have to work so hard on it to make it happen. It's possible but it is VERY HARD. It's hard to let go of the past. 2000 was the best New Years Eve EVER. I was ready to let go of everything and everyone in my past. I lost a lot of friends, but those of them who were my true friends should have understood. I spent the last night of '00 drunk as..there is no comparing to anything on how drunk i was. I also spent a lot of the night holding Tab's head out of the trash can which was hilarious at the time. But the best part was that in 2001 my life really did start over. No more drugs, no more engagement (the biggest screw up ever almost), Tab moved in with me the second week of 2001. It took me till valentines day to have her heart. Then I automatically became a mom. Bought a ring in Mexico in May came back home and asked Tab to go steady and make me her only one and i would do the same. That was surprisingly easy. (ON A FERRIS WHEEL ON THE VERY TOP) Started my Senior Year which i only went half the day which was AWESOME. And moved out of my moms house.

That was a life changing NEW YEAR!

And one i have been haunted by ever since........JUST KIDDING!

Which this has made me realize that this coming up Valentines day is eight years not 9 years. OOOPPPSSS. I think.

Music to me

I was checking up on my My Space page and i noticed that i haven't uploaded any new music in awhile. I have been slackin. But i looked through the songs and realized that all the songs I listen to i put into categories. I have my, breathe, dance, feel good, pissed, and songs that i would sing. And by sing I mean the ONLY songs that i would probably ever get drunk enough to sing in public. Also in all the songs there is at least one line that is me. Or reminds me of something. I may not be out of the norm on this issue but i don't listen to music just because the crowd thinks it's cool. Like Chicken noodle soup!??? HELLO!!! WTF??? Tyler came in singing that once and hell i got a can of soup thinkin he was singing what he wanted for supper, with a soda on the side. That was a couple years ago i think. Now there is some other song that i can't even think of that i am just like....??????? It's almost like people have ran out of stuff to sing about so its getting ridiculous. But through all the mess you can find good songs just not all the time on the radio which i am learning that now. All these years I always listened to songs on the radio never realizing what was out there. Here are some examples of songs i like that i have never heard on the radio.

Breathe Songs
Thrice- Red Sky
Sick Puppies- All the Same
Stabbing Westward- Wat do I have to do

Dance
MGMT- Electric Feel (LOVE THIS SONG!!)I could tear someone up on the dance floor!!
Inner Party System- Don't Stop
I now here the Veronica's Untouched, but i new that would be on the radio eventually

Feel Good
The Verve- Love is noise
Say Anything- Alive with the Glory of Love ( that'll make you smile)
MGMT- Time to Pretend
Kerli- Walking on Air ( AWESOME, AWESOME, SONG!! Love the music!
AND OF COURSE RUBY RUBY RUBY RUBY!!!! Kaiser Chiefs (i think that was on the radio once)

Listen to these songs, they are good songs i think.

For those interested i would prob get drunk enough to sing, All the Same, Fall for You, and Wonderwall.

Tornadoes

Today we are suppose to get tornadoes. TORNADOES. For those of you who don't realize how wierd that is....god bless you. It's like Christmas! Where's the snow? WHERE THE HELL IS MY SNOW!! I don't want to make a "Hail Man" I want to make a Snow Man. This is to wierd!

No more diet

Acai Berry is a scam. It doesn't work, never did work and probably will never work. I think i would be better off just not eating. So for the diet followers, DON'T DO IT!!!
Take the money you spend and join an Eaters Annonomous group.

"Hello, my name is Jenny and i am an over-eater. I cook like a chef and love my food so naturally i eat it all. Like all real chef's I taste as I cook but I haven't mastered the serve the food instead of eat the food. I am here today to admit that I have an eating problem. I have had it for at least 24 years. I am skipping the year i didn't eat. I am here to make peace with my stomach and my mouth. THANK YOU"

Step 1 complete!

I thought i was unlucky!!!

This is the funniest story I think I have read! I could imagine this happening to me, that is why i will never try. But read this and laugh out loud. I did!!I have no idea who wrote this but.........LMAO!!!!!


Hair Removal...



(I don't have a clue as to who wrote this, but....WHAT A RIOT!)



All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on.........



My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours:



'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.' So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.



It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.



No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)



So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.



('Cold wax,' yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!



OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.



With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it *was* a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!



I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!



Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious.



Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.



I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip. There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???



Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax.



I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.



Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!



I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?



Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*



I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.



Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.



So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!



I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'



There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'



She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.



YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.



While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!



By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.



My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!



The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!! It works !!'



I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!



So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.


Next week I'm going to try hair color...

Bye Grandpa

My grandpa died yesterday afternoon. I watched. It was scary and peaceful and just crazy all at the same time. I cried more when i lost my dog then when he died. But i think the difference was Molly was all the sudden and couldn't tell me what was wrong and i was helpless. Grandpa had a nurse and morphine. I know that i need to cry and have a nervous breakdown but i can't. I thought when i took a shower last night i would let it all out but nothing. I think that i am in some sort of shock. But then why do people get so upset when people die? If it's true and there is something better coming then people should be happy. I did cry a little when i told my dad. My parents have been divorced for 17 years i think, but dad was really close to grandpa. I told him he died when he died. Then i called later to tell him the arrangements, and right before he hung up i said i love you like always and instead of him mumbling i love you (he never says those words) he said, well i don't know but he was crying. And he hung up and i was like...WHAT THE HELL! HE DOESN'T CRY! But anyway no more boring you.....

Our lovely President

This one is kinda funny.....
For those of you who have not seen it. You Tube the President getting shoes thrown at him. He kept his cool suprisingly well. I would have thrown my shoes back at him!
And what's up with the secret service, the guy threw a shoe then had time to take the other one off and throw that as well and security slowly approached him. It's horrible but funny all at the same time.

I went through a stage when i wanted to throw my Doc Martins at someone. They were heavy! But i never did. Just wanted to do like a drive by shoeing but i wouldn't get my shoe back. I did however throw my flip flop at a couple of people for the hell of it.

death

I have learned a lot about death over the weekend. I've seen it happening in it's slow and gruelling process. Not allowing a person to eat or drink for 6 days now. Watching the pains while the body shuts down. Seeing the blank stares and confusion. Looking into the eyes and one moment seeing emptiness then the person realizing that the emptiness is overtaking them then the emptiness is replaced with fear. I can see the actual heart beating in the chest. It did have a rapid beating, then like it was wore out would almost stop, then the will to live and the heart beat again. Now it struggles to get through one beat but that stubborn will pushes it to beat. I have seen a giant man be broken down to nothing but bone. I watched the strongest man alive cringe in horror when he was lifted up in the air for only a second to change a sheet. I have also learned the breathing of one who is dying. "fish out of water" is when you have minutes. Then the body will let out almost like a sigh then no more. That's what they told us. I haven't seen that yet, don't know if i do. But strangely enough in all the mixed emotions, sad, depressed, loss, and all those that come in death, I am horrified to say that I'm almost interested. It's almost like dying poetry. The way the body moves and comes in and out and "talking" to people that aren't in the room and have been dead for 30 years. Just the ins and outs and up and downs. My family is so tight yet i thought there was going to be a cage match over an obituary in the next room were the dying laid. HELLO! It's odd how everyone is supporting but at the same time wanted to rip each others heads off. It's odd how everyone is secretly wishing and hoping that he will take his last breath and leave to where ever and stop suffering but no one says it. I asked a question that if God was a just God then why is Grandpa still suffering? I asked this not only to a Mon-Senior (higher then a Catholic Priest, can't spell) but to my great Uncle, and my grandpa's brother. And he said "faith." ??????????? Okay. Faith, well that's a whole other subject! "God's not ready for him." HUH???

But NE WAY,
Poetry in the dying. But i have never wanted someone to let go like that besides my dog. And i told her over and over again to let go.

GRANDPA LET GO!

On a good note i am still making everyone smile and laugh just cause that's who i am. But the funniest thing is when my Uncle, the higher then a Catholic Priest said that he was getting pissy and needed a beer. The look on my cousin and on Tabatha's face was the funniest face ever! It's not every day you hear that.

Till next time

pot should be legal

Reason #1 Pain, pot gets rid of pain.
(personal proof... I have sacrowiliac joint disfunction, back pops out of place and one leg is longer then other, and i can smoke a joint and lay in the floor and pop my back in place by myself without the 30 days physical theropy)

Reason #2 STRESS
(personal proof, if i could just have 1 joint right now i would relax and feel SO MUCH BETTER)

There are alot more reasons......Will get to those soon!


( ONLY FOR THOSE OF US WITH NON-ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY'S)

AAAGGGHHH

ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS..................
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fu** ME RUNNIN UP THE POLE AND ACROSS THE TELEPHONE WIRES!!!!!!!!!!!



STRESS MUCH???????????????????????

Maybe i should be different..

Goodness, i am not in a great mood. I got soaked this morning, spilt my coffee all in my keyboard at work which fried that, tired of fixing men's stuff. Just an all around crappy day!

Which has me in a an very odd different place.

Maybe i should be in this sort of mood all the time.

I am angry, slow, not caring, don't give a crap about anyone, would put myself first, not in a helpful mood at all. Maybe if i stayed this way then i wouldn't care about people and making those around me happy. Maybe people would like me better if i wasn't so caring.

I bet i wouldn't get hurt all the time......


Instead of Peace i would like to say..... KISS MY ASS!!!

E-BAY

I'm a WINNER!!
I won something on ebay! I think ebay is so fun! Tab wanted to get little man a $70, yes $70 pair of SHOES! I don't think so... I don't even spend that much on mine! So i went on ebay and by goergey got a pair for $22. I always get nervous though, cause you never now really what your gonna get. But if it all works out then I saved almost 50 bucks!
If i new that everything was completely fine and no scams on ebay i would never go to a mall again! To bad you really can't trust it.

OMG FINALLY FINISHED

This weekend has been pretty good but BUSY!!!!
I am suppose to be doing my dad's taxes, well getting started i am only almost a year behind! But instead i am on here blogging and listening to music. Well downloading music. Playing now is All time low Umbrella my favorite version beside the one my friend sung.
NE WAY--
I have worked now 7 days this week!
I have also spent a GRAND TOTAL OF .............9 Hours decorating the outside of my house for Christmas.
Why????
I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!
( playing now, Framing Henley "Lollipop" also my Favorite version!)

Well that's all i have to say.
Tab's on vacation this week....BIT, no i don't call her that, ever.
But that's okay she needs a break, she works to hard! I can't wait till i have all my money and she doesn't have to work anymore.

Peace!
(now playing Franz Ferdinand "Ulysses")

WOW I HIT SPELL CHECK AND I SPELLED EVERYTHING CORRECT! HOLY S*&%

What CD would you want to take???

This morning was a good morning. It's Friday and payday so everyone was happy. A conversation broke out, have no idea who started it, but a question was sorta asked if you were on the island ect... what cd would you want? It also progressed to food and women but that's not important. I heard a few "Hank Williams" a Tim McGraw and "the best of the 80's" and some stupid answers some serious, guys....

But i was thinking about it and really i don't know. I LOVE MUSIC! I could never watch TV and just listen to music. All kinds but not new country. I found myself being able to narrow it down to 3. I think...
Blue October
Garbage
Or some sort of best of the Disco Era.

Cause really you want something peppy to keep you in a good mood and something you can sing and dance to.
Blue October...Foiled, I'm not sure, but it has one song on it that fits me to a T!
Garbage.. the one with "I'm only happy when it rains" cause that's a good one can't remember the album.
And i love disco so any would do really.

The best thing would be to burn a CD to take. That would take a minute to decide the last songs you'll ever hear.

SCALES LIE!

I do not believe my scale at all. I am almost positive it has its own mind, and is toying with my emotions not realizing how easy it could be for me to pick the bastard up and throw it.

I still have lost no weight.

But to my point that scales lie, a friend of mine at work who hasn't seen me since I've started this Acia deal commented me on how i have lost weight.
"oh, girl i can tell you've lost weight in your face! i guess it's time to join the band wagon with you!"

I of course said thank you to the compliment, but told her to hold off until i figure out where the weight is going. I think it may be falling off my face to my ass if that's possible.

So i dunno, but i WILL start exercising!
I WILL, I WILL, I WILL,!

Proud MOMMA

I am so proud of Tyler. I have been pretty sick all weekend. I have also felt alone. But Tyler came home Sunday and was the sweetest boy! He told me to stay on the couch and we could play a game. He asked me if i needed any water or anything. Just jumped right in there to take care of me. So after we went and got something to eat we played PlayStation until it was time for him to go to bed. I don't ever stop to see the "little" things that he has of me in him. Hopefully this is something that he will carry on to make someone very happy.